This may sound incontrovertible and yet if you think about it where do your thoughts come from and do you really control them? Of course it can only be you thinking them, and yet how did you come to have the thoughts you have?
All your experience, the stories you create from your memories, and the values and core beliefs you inherit from childhood are what form the lens through which your thoughts & feelings are generated, are they not? There seems no way of escaping partiality towards one’s own thoughts and feelings yet are they really the ones you choose to have? What you perhaps need to ask yourself is: are my thoughts and the feelings they conjure (or visa versa), serving me or are they tearing me down into a puddle of muck? This may present to you (the idea) that you are not ultimately your thoughts and feelings, you are the present observer, whom engages in the activity of thinking and feeling, (you are the author of your story before you get lost in the story.)
How you choose to respond to something in this very moment sets up a chain reaction – your choices are inspired, motivated & informed by past experiences, memories and choices, stretching all the way back to your birth!.. But a good thing to know right about now is you do not have to be victim to your past experiences forever. It is possible to change your patterned path - and it is generally held as a good idea to steer one’s course through the muck and grime, the pain and suffering, towards some form of well-being and growth.
We each come equipped with the resources and faculties we need to navigate our human experience, (awareness; intent; choice; perception; observation; reasoning; feeling; knowing; creating; innovating; imagining; choosing) and there is no greater authority in the field of you than you.
So what is the purpose of a facilitator, coach or therapist?